So, I figured I’d do a quick introduction at the top of this post. My name’s Alison, I’m 36, and to be honest, I can’t remember if I’ve shared my entire history of weight loss and what not on this blog, so I figured I’d write about it tonight while its on my mind.
I was never an overweight kid. In most of primary school I was one of the smallest kids in the class, so I was pretty tiny. When I reached 10, my best friend (who, incidentally, is still one of my closest friends now, 26 years later) was tiny and slim, and I always felt huge compared to her. Now, I wasn’t huge, by any means, I was a normal healthy kid. But I do remember going on a healthy eating kick and cutting down on the amount of junk I was eating. I lost enough weight that my mum had to put darts in my clothes. So, I was happy, and my best friend was still tiny (and still is, though she’s curvy and short. Thank god she doesn’t know this blog exists or I’d be dead after she read this)
Then puberty kicked in. And I got my period, and I started developing. And I developed fast. A lot faster than all the girls I was friends with. I was the first to get my period, the first to need a bra…. the list goes on. And this just made me feel self-conscious because no eleven/twelve year old wants to feel different from everybody else.
Preface, my dad was in the army from long before I was born until I was 13. When I was 12 we moved back to the UK and settled in Scotland. And I immediately felt different. I looked different, I talked different, I just didn’t feel like I fitted in. Once I’d been there a while, things settled down. But as I got older my body changed and I got curvy. Really curvy and it made me self conscious. I had the body of a much older person at 14, and I hated it. At 14 I was probably about 21 pounds over weight, nothing too bad. But I was determined I wanted to go to weight watchers because a – I hated how I looked and wanted to lose weight and b – my mum was going. At that time, because I was so young, I had to go t omy GP and get a letter and get permission. But I went, and I hated it. It put me off dieting for about 4 years. And for the past 18 years, I’ve been dieting on and off again. (not all the time, just when I decided that this time was IT and I was losing weight)
After a year or so of trying to lose weight and nothing happening, I got tested by my doctor, and it was discovered that I had an underactive thyroid, then about a year later that I had poly cystic ovarian syndrome. (P.C.O.S) Both of which made losing weight a pain in the backside. Mostly, I don’t think I ever really gave it my all when I joined any weight loss group. I just mucked about and put on and lost the same 14 pounds. Over the years my struggle with my mental health has had a massive effect on my weight as I habitually comfort ate which piled on the weight.
Last January, I joined weight watchers and I was horrified when I weighed in at 19st 1lbs. (267lbs/121.1kg) over the next four months, I lost 31lbs. Then in March last year, my depression came back, I spent five months eating everything I could, and the next four after that basically doing the same, and packed all the weight back on. I knew I’d gained weight but I wasn’t sure how much weight as I avoided the scales as much as humanly possible.
I rejoined weight watchers on 7.2.2018, and I was genuinely horrified, I was the heaviest weight I’ve ever been when joining WW, I was 19st 10.5lbs.
I’ll have my third week weigh in on Wednesday, and so far I’ve lost 10lbs in two weeks. Which means, I’m officially under the starting weight I was last Jan, so that’s good. I’m feeling amazing and finding the flex system so easy to use. I haven’t eaten any junk, no sweets, no cakes, nothing. And I’m feeling so much better for it. I can feel the changes in my body starting, I’m losing inches and my skin is clearing up.
I want to keep this momentum going because my best friend is getting married, and me and my other bff, are going to bridesmade. I think I’ve got about a year, but nothing is set in stone yet, also my co-bridesmade bff, her son and me are going on holiday next April since he turns 16. So, I want to have confidence to wear whatever I want on holiday without being self conscious. That’s my goal. Not to be skinny and in a bikini, just being the best version of myself I can be. Happy and healthy, and loving life.