Hello Again!

So, its me, back from the dead. Well, not quite, but depression is a BITCH that I hate with a passion.  Having left my job in the middle of December, it took me until maybe the middle of Jan before I started feeling better and that horrible feeling of being constantly stressed left me.

I said to my former employers that I might go back at some point, but with enough distance, I’m pretty sure I’m not going back. The stress was having a serious knock on effect on my mental health and no job is worth that kind of risk.  I’ve lived with depression and anxiety since I was about 15 or 16, so I know what to do.  I feel TONS better though.  No anti depressants, just a stress free life is working for me.  I’ve just set up my claim for benefits, which lets be honest here, isn’t my favourite thing in the world to do.  You have to jump through 1200 hoops but I need money to live, sooooooooo needs must.

I went back to weight watchers last week, having put on all the weight I lost last year and an extra 10lbs just for extra padding.  I was shocked at my weight, but hadn’t put on as much as I thought I had, which is always nice. So, I weighed in this morning and in my first week back, I lost six and a half pounds. I am over the moon with that. My mum rejoined last week as well and she lost eight and a half.

In the past that would have been enough to make me jealous, but I’ve come to realise that its not a competition, especially because I have lots more weight to lose than my mum does.  Its going to take me a good eighteen months, I think to get down to the weight I want to be, aiming to be sensible and lose between a pound and two pounds a week.

I have a couple of things motivating me to work hard though.

  • My best friend is getting married and me and my other bff are going to be bridesmaids, it will be either late this year or early next year she’s getting married.
  • Me, my co-bridesmaid bff and her son are going on holiday next April, since he’ll be turning sixteen.  And I want to be comfortable on holiday, and look nice. So that gives me 14 months of weight loss between then and now.

Losing say one and a half pounds a week for 60 weeks is 90lbs, which is roughly six and a half stone which is about two thirds of what I want to lose.  That would do me!!

I’m feeling really positive for the future, now I just got to find a job.  I can do that.

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